Open letter to our very dear, but pathetically design-challenged Trailer Manufacturers:
Dear Trailer/RV Manufacturer:
First, let me say that we love you. We love you because you manufacture trailers and we love trailers. If you weren’t manufacturing trailers, we wouldn’t have trailers, which we love. So you being a trailer manufacturer elevates you way above the normal population of society. Which, incidentally, puts you in the stratosphere with Brad Pitt, a chocolate truffle from Belgium or weekly delivery of wonderful shoes.
However, I want to be congratulated for not screaming “WHAT THE **** ARE YOU THINKING?” My years of unhappy dating taught me that it is not a way to start a conversation when I want you to do something. So, I have abstained from cussing you out. I stopped yelling that question at the men in my life after Dr. Phil told me to zip it and now I am happily married and my father has me back in the will.
Yet I really don’t have any idea what you guys are thinking when you give the big thumbs up to the designers in your companies. Is it really, really bright where you live? Are your retinas scarred so badly that you can only see a little bit of your peripheral vision? Only when you wear sunglasses even indoors because if you don’t everything just looks so nice and bright and hazy like it does after you’ve had a six pack and some homegrown chew? Did you actually look at the nasty interiors you “okey-dokeyed” last year? Were you impressed with yourselves when they arrived this year?
I’m not impressed at all.
I went shopping last weekend for a new RV. I was stunned at the ugliness. I was able to salvage the day by making two Starbucks Frappucino runs before noon, so not all was lost (although my waistline is now.). But dang, my eyes still hurt from the acres of fake oak veneer and plastic stained glass cabinet fronts and silly putty colored toilets.
One of the vehicles I looked at touted itself as an adventure vehicle and had special compartments for skis and such. It also had CARPETING! Have you ever noticed that ski lodges don’t put carpeting down in the main common areas? It’s because it gets TRASHED! I know, I know slate floors would destroy our gasoline budget, but why not put in linoleum or something? This fancy RV didn’t come with a in-dash wet/dry vacuum, so right there tells you that carpeting isn’t going to work.
And oh, the fabrics. Just thinking about them made me gag again. And then the balusters and valances and clunky plastic mini-blinds. I don’t even know what to say. Though I’d be happy to spend some time in the design section of your local Barnes and Noble pointing out a few ideas. It’s easy. I can do it in my sleep, practically. I would start with microfiber. Have you heard of it? It is stain-resistant, and modern-looking, and comes in pretty colors. No kindergarten-upchuck fabric design needed.
With all the amazing design blogs and home improvement books and how to videos and what not, how did the aesthetic of the 21st century miss you guys? I don’t get it. And don’t tell me it is what middle America wants because that is insulting. Every lady I know (and I know hundreds) that buys a new or used trailer promptly rips all that crap out and repaints and reupholsters. How has this not shown up in one of your focus groups?
(You do invite the ladies to the focus groups, don’t you? If you don’t, we should talk.)
Anyway, Dr. Phil also told me that guys like having something to fix. So here is something to fix: Try not to make an ugly RV next year.
Pretty please, with sugar on top.
(By the way, I can’t imagine that a gal would have anything to do with designing the heinous interiors of these rigs, unless her child was threatened or something, in which case she is totally forgiven.)
Please join me in asking for prettier, more classy and elegant interiors!
Sign the KILL THE UGLY petition